The Tale of the Laundry Detergent

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You know how much I love telling y’all stories about the day to day stuff that makes you sometimes stop and look up at the ceilings and scream “Seriously am I on Candid Camera or something?”  This one is definitely one of those stories.

Let me begin by telling you I am a firm believer of never speaking ill of your significant other.  We all have our quirks….some more than others…..but at the end of the day you need to be their biggest advocate and supporter because in the end don’t you want to be with someone who does the same for you?

With that said.  I love Mark.  I really do.  I mean this post still warms my heart but let’s be honest…..men and women are two entirely different breeds right?  We clearly do not have the same thought process or the ability to find a measuring cup that is and has always been in the same spot above the stove since day one of cooking together.  So let me tell you a little story about laundry detergent.  I am glad I can laugh about this now.

Let me paint the stage.  Flashback to 6 months ago where Mark comes home proudly from Target with 6 bottles (oh yes 6) of laundry detergent that they were apparently “liquidating on clearance“.  First example of how men and women are different. We see a sale and go “meh it’s only 15% what else you got for me.  I’ll keep an eye on it and if it goes to 50%…..I’ll consider it because those dang things are heavy and I only came in for nail polish remover and now my hands are full with this lamp I found in the clearance aisle” but I digress…..

Now men see “sales” (I use that term loosely….see above) and they feel the need to buy at least 6 because it’s a great deal and it must mean that they are discontinuing their favorite product.

Time to stock up.

Looking back I wish I would have said something then but at the time I’m sure I was buried in something blog/work/teaching/grading/barre related so I’m sure I mumbled something to the effect of “great sounds good babe” and continued on.

Mistake number 1.

Flash now to Labor Day where I had extensively researched our new front loaders, price compared and even found a coupon. We were getting that steam LG front loader set.  It was happening.  So after we got all the logistics figured out and were walking up to pay at the front of the store we walked past the detergent aisle.

Mistake number 2.

You know when you just have the complete word vomit moment where you can’t even recall why you let the words slip out of your mouth……come on stupid brain catch these things.  I made the terrible mistake of saying.

You know we need different laundry detergent for these machines right?  You have to use the He, high efficiency kind”.

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Chaos ensues.

Not really but it wasn’t pretty.  Even to the point of the guy who sold it to us coming up and saying he “did a quick google search and it really doesn’t matter about what detergent you buy“.

Back off Harry Potter look a like but the Emo man child version.

It does.

Now we are standing in Lowe’s pretty much in a standoff to which I proclaim “I’ll take all 6 of the bottles back and exchange them for the He kind” (which I really didn’t want to do but at the time you just say it to get out of the store right?).  To know which he proclaims “we will just use up what we have and then buy the washer machines when we run out“.

Makes total rational sense right?

No.  No it doesn’t.

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To which I proclaimed something to the effect of we will probably be flying in our cars by the time that happens.  So we huff out of there after the decision to buy them because the Labor Day Sales were just that good to pass up.

I get home and look at that beloved detergent and wouldn’t you know out of the 6 that were bought……4 of them were He already.  The correct kind for our new front loader washer and dryer.

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This is where it gets good.

So naturally I paraded those bottles out in front of him (small moral victories) and proceeded to tell him I’d take the other two back.  I know this is a long winded one I promise I’m almost done.

Now next example of how men and women are different.  Women we would return those two bottles knowing there are 4 more at home….fist pump in enjoyment of our newly scored Target gift card and then go proceed to spend it all on shoes and makeup…..most likely owing something when we left.  Men would exchange it out for the other ones because that is just what you do.  Even though you have 4 already at home.

So I motored it to Target on my lunch break because I didn’t want to even look at them anymore, naturally get stuck behind the girl who ordered her entire dorm room online to be delivered in store for pickup but that’s a whole long story for another day.  I get my gift card (because naturally there is no receipt to speak of) and proceed to the detergent aisle to find this deal.

Buy 3 bottles of detergent, get a $10 Target gift card and a $10 mail in rebate.

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Yup that’s pretty much how I felt about the situation.

Y’all I almost didn’t buy it out of sheer principle.  I was exchanging those two and getting out of there but it would have been more expensive in the long run to even do that.  So what did I do…….

I bought another damn bottle of laundry detergent and hauled all 3 of them through Target sans shopping cart because I can carry 2……one in each hand but 3 was an obstacle.

I pretty much hated myself as I loaded them into the trunk.

Here is the last final example of how men and women are different.  I came home expecting some praise for my savvy shopping and the fact I didn’t trade them in for a pair of new boots.  To which I got this response “you didn’t just trade them for the other bottles??

Well He detergent is more expensive you can’t just equally swap them out….they aren’t the same“.

They are both Tide detergent why can’t you swap them out?  So actually you spent more doing that?“.

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Next time I’m just getting the booties.

Moral of the story.  If you want to come over and wash your clothes in our new beautiful front loaders with Tide sport He detergent that will pretty much last a lifetime.  Feel free.  Come on over bring the wine plus cheese & crackers.

End story.

Alright tell me I’m not the only one who has these life stories where it is very obvious that men and women are just wired differently?  You have to use the special detergent right?  Something about it not sudsing as much?  Hope you are having a fab week!  xoxoxo

43 Comments

  1. September 24, 2014 / 10:09 AM

    Well the good news is that detergent is expensive and always annoying when it runs out. So look at it that way – no rebuying it anytime soon! We have the LG front loaders and I love them as well. A little too – you usually have to fill the detergent to the max line in order to get out most stains. So hey looks like that detergent might go faster than you think!

  2. September 24, 2014 / 10:22 AM

    Oh girl I love your stories – especially when it involves Mark!!! I know what you mean about boys buying in bulk – I don’t even want to tell you how many cases (yes cases) of toothpaste we have from Target and let’s not even get started on mouthwash lol!! At least we have great teeth in our household haha! and I’ll come over to use your washer :)

  3. September 24, 2014 / 10:52 AM

    LOL you are hilarious! I laughed the entire way through this while also nodding my head in agreement. Moral of the story… never send a man to pick up anything from the store? ;) But on the positive side… your new washer and dryer sound pretty spiffy… I want a front load!!

    <3, Pamela
    sequinsandseabreezes.blogspot.com

  4. September 24, 2014 / 11:53 AM

    OH my gosh!! This is hilarious!! I loved reading this…it definitely brought a laugh out this AM! and I think this is exactly what would happen with me and my husband! Men..am I right?!

    Maggie
    http://www.PolishedClosets.com

  5. September 24, 2014 / 11:54 AM

    that’s hilarious. you will never need to buy detergent again. and you’re right men and women – totally different breed!

    cheshirekatblog.com

  6. September 24, 2014 / 12:45 PM

    LOL that’s exactly what would happen between me and my husband! MEN JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND.

    also, HE detergent actually does work better for energy efficient machines; extends performance and life of your machine so tell him that!!!!

  7. September 24, 2014 / 1:05 PM

    You also use less of that detergent because its concentrated, so that will definitely last you a very long time! :-) Chris does laundry every day because he washes his clothes after working out or running. His parents do laundry every day too.. and every time they come to visit us. While I love them all SO much, I don’t get it. And it’s annoying. Oooh the things that you put up with when you’re in love! Haha.

  8. September 24, 2014 / 1:16 PM

    haha too funny. Thanks for the laugh this morning.

  9. September 24, 2014 / 1:27 PM

    Ummm, yup. That’s a guy for you!

    ~Ashley @ A Cute Angle
    acutelifestyle.blogspot.com

  10. September 24, 2014 / 1:37 PM

    Hahahaha! My husband can never remember to buy the he detergent and it drives me insane! But at least he’s actually going to the store so I’ll forgive him! ;)

    <3 Shannon
    Upbeatsoles.blogspot.com

  11. September 24, 2014 / 1:40 PM

    OMG I love everything about this story and I’m cracking up! It reminds me of the time my husband bought my (at the time) 5 month old son a size 4 toddler pair of Jets pj bottoms because they were “on sale”… Imagine my surprise when I look at the price tag and see he paid 10.99 for them! So 3 years and counting until he fits into these magical pj’s! Let’s hope I can find them when the day finally comes that he fits into them!

  12. September 24, 2014 / 1:45 PM

    Haha this is cracking me up–men!! :) I think you are so right–moral of the story–always just buy the booties :)

    Tori
    FashionBlingGirlyThings

  13. September 24, 2014 / 1:59 PM

    hahhahahaha, this is great. this kinda makes me miss having boyfriends. i love classic male vs female differences. you should read the book “why men don’t listen and women can’t read maps.” it’s awesome!!!

  14. September 24, 2014 / 2:03 PM

    moral of the story… men are sometimes stoopid. Yup, I said it. Gabriel and I do stuff like this, at least one time per week. I have now learned the smile and nod, so that I have time to think before my can’t take it back comment comes out.

  15. September 24, 2014 / 2:13 PM

    This is too funny, I feel like I’ve lived a similar version of this story.

  16. September 24, 2014 / 2:33 PM

    I laughed out loud when I got to the part about some of the bottles already being HE… and this sounds like a convo/interaction that would go on in our household, you’re so right about guys just not seeing or processing things the same way! haha

  17. September 24, 2014 / 2:49 PM

    Hahaha love this. And I confess this story actually made me panic a bit because I had NO IDEA that the HE washers took different laundry detergent!!! I’ve been living with them for 3 weeks now and the thought never even crossed my mind! I just ran to check and luckily my detergent is for HE, whew!

  18. September 24, 2014 / 3:24 PM

    haha yes, next time just get the boots. that is too funny. michael doesn’t buy anything ever, but I could see how this would be frustrating!

  19. September 24, 2014 / 3:33 PM

    One of the main lessons I have learned from marriage is that men and women are fundamentally different in the way they think and how they approach life! I adore my husband and we are best friends, but sometimes we still look at each other completely confused because we’re thinking, “Why would you do that, it makes no sense!”

  20. September 24, 2014 / 3:44 PM

    Your gifs as always just crack me up! They are perfect for your story!

  21. September 24, 2014 / 3:53 PM

    They straight up do not get how this works. Next time, congratulations on your new booties.

  22. September 24, 2014 / 4:04 PM

    Oh my gosh, so funny!! Men and women are entirely different species for sure! I’ll be sure to send my laundry to you to do. :)

  23. September 24, 2014 / 4:22 PM

    hahaha oh my word. this is too funny. i agree that men and women are SO different when it comes to buying things. We are halfway through our detergent (and have stock pile in the garage) yet he has to go out and get more.

    at least you got a giftcard and the mail in rebate!!!

  24. September 24, 2014 / 4:34 PM

    This is such a hilarious story! It definitely proves men and women think so differently.

  25. September 24, 2014 / 4:57 PM

    Oh my goodness girl, this cracked me up! So funny, and so true. Yup, totally go for the booties next time… :)

  26. September 24, 2014 / 5:43 PM

    I just laughed so very loud in a quiet office once I saw that Target ad!!! This is so funny

  27. September 24, 2014 / 5:55 PM

    Haha just WAIT till you get married and you’ll never run out of content for these posts. Men and women are frickin’ night and day and it blows my mind to live with the opposite sex on a daily basis haha.

  28. September 24, 2014 / 7:09 PM

    OH MY GOODNESS!

    THIS HAS HAPPENED IN MY HOUSE – ALMOST EXACTLY – I am crying because I am laughing so hard, and I’m not alone –
    THIS EXACT SCENARIO!

    Men are just not right in the head.

  29. September 24, 2014 / 7:29 PM

    ah, men. this is so typical – and hilarious. KC thought he’d help by buying cheap everything – cat food, cat litter, washing detergent, dish washing detergent – i argued till I was black and blue that some things you need to buy better brands and finally I gave up and made him start doing the laundry, dishes & cat litter (which also includes the food sorry haha) and eventually he was like the clothes arent clean, the dishes arent clean, the kitty litter is everywhere and stinks and doesnt clump and man their poop stinks and i’m just sitting here all smug and finally he’s like fine, go buy your shit. haha!

  30. September 24, 2014 / 8:59 PM

    Hahahaha!!!! BOYS! Sometimes we will never understand each other, am I right?!?! And sometimes, no matter what you do, you are going to lose in a situation with them so you mine as well do what you want to do and get in trouble for that than the other way around….haha!

  31. September 24, 2014 / 10:59 PM

    Hahaha . My Marc is such a bad shopper… If we food shop together he tacks so much extra onto my usual bill and he trys wto stock up on sales, but he doesn’t know what defines a good sale at all. He has no knowledge of regular and sale prices and it is just a mess. Or he will try to buy in bulk when it isn’t on sale… lol XO

  32. September 25, 2014 / 1:59 AM

    I accidentally bought the HE stuff the other day and was wondering what the difference was. I hope it’s okay for normal washers…? WHY DO THEY HAVE TO MAKE THIS SHIT SO CONFUSING?! hahahaha I JUST WANT CLEAN UNDERWEAR GOD DAMMIT!

  33. September 25, 2014 / 3:57 PM

    LOVE this! This sounds like the story of my life, our brains, they just work differently! At least you will have enough detergent for the next 10 years!

  34. October 7, 2014 / 9:44 AM

    Oh dear this had me rolling! My parents have to use similar detergent and man would they love that sale … still though… you ended up with 7 bottles of detergent o.O

  35. October 11, 2014 / 2:44 PM

    Bahahahahahhahahah! This is a funny ass story! I loved it! Men! F’in men! ;) Honestly, the sale you got when you returned them was probably better than the sale Mark got. Lol! :)

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