Humpday Confessions- A Link Up

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Happy Wednesday!  I am doing my first link up with Kathy over at Vodka and Soda.  I love this girl. You know all those internal thoughts you think on a daily basis?  She lays them all out for you and literally has me spitting out my coffee every morning with her no filter posts.  Check her out!  I promise you will be hooked like I was.  Her post yesterday about how blogging is like High School was pure gold.  Plus she responds back to all your comments….I mean I’m just saying it’s nice to have manners right?

Alright y’all this is my first confession post and I must tell you or confess if you will right off the bat that I’ve been terribly scared of confession posts.  I have really strange internal dialogue in my head every single minute of the day and plus I honestly feel like this for the 18 hours a day that I am not sleeping.

(via tumblr)
I sometimes don’t have the nicest internal thoughts and have a fear all my confessions would be about ranting and raving like how I secretly flash my lights at the slow drivers in the left lane on a daily basis…like you don’t want to know that about sweet ole me do you?

Let’s kick this off.  I confess that I back my car in whenever I teach a a Barre class.  At night when I leave it’s dark and I have this irrational thought that a bum is hiding behind my car so that when I back up I’ll hit them and A) be sued over it and B) it will be an excuse for this individual to try and rob me or steal my car/belongings/self.  Did you read that email chain about people putting things on your back window…you stop to get out to take it off and they hijack you???  See problem solved…just back in your car.

Transitioning from this one….I confess I think someone is hiding under my car or on the side…I usually do a lap before I get it.  I’ve also tried to wiggle underneath my car and I don’t fit…so unless this person is a small child I think I’m ok. ……Listen I told you I was weird.  That movie Taken totally ruined me.  I also don’t park next to white vans with those sketch slide doors….only takes 20 seconds to be lifted.  It’s better to be paranoid then dead am I right?

I confess I find such simple joys in being able to phonetically sound out some of the lets call it “creative” spelling of names by some of my patients.  Y’all it is not just the celebrities who are naming their children the oddest things.   I’m living it everyday…the names….are different.  I secretly give myself a pat on the back every time I pronounce one right.


I confess I sometimes speed up to block people from cuttting into my lane but then I curse at people when they don’t let me in.

I confess I feel really bad sometimes being a Florida blogger….like I don’t want to talk about anything weather related or the people from the North will come at me with pitchforks.

I confess when I was 12 years old I really wanted to be in a rap video…you know like that really pretty girl who does the slow walk through the party….I blame it all on the No Diggity Video.
I confess it took me an hour to find this picture!  I guess Pitch Perfect sang this song or something?? It like monopolized my searching of “No Diggity Rap Video Girl Who Walks Through the Party in Slow Motion” searches. I finally just watched the video…..let’s stop for a quick second for a dance party shall we?

I confess I forgot sandals again after I taught Barre and I almost had to leave like this to go and pick up my new MacBook from the Apple store.
I confess that the above mentioned MacBook came out of the box and didn’t work….I may have told the poor Apple support guy I cannot believe they would send a computer that doesn’t work out and he said “ma’am we all make mistakes”…..I confess I word vomitted back “please don’t ma’am me and I’m taking a picture of the serial number they better not try to Jerry Rig it and give it back to me because I’ll know”.  Yikes that wasn’t my proudest moment.  I’m aggravated now I have to sit at the “Genius Bar” tomorrow don’t even get me started on the snarky comments I could make about the “geniuses” who sent out a busted computer.
I confess I’m eating chips, salsa and queso and drinking wine for dinner tonight with a girlfriend because Mark is at his place tonight.  Such a balanced meal right???
If you see the two pack of queso at your local Costco get it….it was like crack….paired well with wine and chips.

I confess I am crushing so hard on this song right now.  Every time it comes on in my car it is a straight up dance party….it’s like the above related No Diggity dance scene is happening in my car….it’s embarrassing for sure.
Alright I spilled some of my crazy town confessions what are yours?  Can we will still be friends now after you read this?  xoxooxoxo

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50 responses to “Humpday Confessions- A Link Up”

  1. haha i love this. thanks for linking up and your awesome introduction to me :)

    i laughed when i read that you wanted to be a video ho; i think EVERYONE at some point wanted to be a video ho. i know i did!

    Vodka and Soda

  2. Such a fun post! I love your snaky dinner! I miss friend dinners like that being so far from home!

  3. Elle Sees says:

    one of the best things i saw on IG was a pic of this guy saying he was “running aarons” AARONS! also, i knew a girl named velveeta once. i just like to throw that into conversation.

  4. I am laughing so hard!! This is an awesome post… you might have inspired me to do a confessions post! But like you, I’m not sure people want to know some of the crazy things I think.

  5. I mean – can you be even more on point and funny?! If I had a car I would have the same thoughts as you…and yes better being safe than dead lol!! (i also can’t back into a spot to save my life – I like to pull through lol) Also, that girls name was NOT Erica – no matter how you slice that one!! You are the best – sending all my love from yet again the another polar vortex…and this southern girl turned bitter northerner will not get angry with your weather related posts!

  6. i want to say i wont come after you with a pitchfork if you talk about how warm and sunny FL is right now… but i might. it snowed again…. i think that calls for chips for dinner (and maybe pizza rolls!) xo

  7. This is seriously the most hilarious post ever! I was dying laughing while reading it… at work. All my coworkers think I’m slightly crazy now haha! Wine and pizza rolls sounds like my kind of night!! ;)


  8. Ashley says:

    I can totally relate to thinking that someone is hiding under your car or on the side! I used to worry about that at night too. Also, when my fiance is on the road and I come back to our apartment at night I’m worried that someone is hiding in our closet or shower, but I’m too scared to check and see incase someone jumps out at me haha. Happy Hump Day!

    Ashley, Married to the Game

  9. Kacrates says:

    Your post had be cracking up. Especially that sheldon meme, its exactly how i answer people sometimes. loooool.

    Def know how you feel on those video searches

  10. This cracked me up! I love Dark Horse too, it’s my fave song on my workout playlist right now for sure!

  11. Haha, this was such a funny post! I live in the Northeast and yes, it’s best not to talk about your warm and sunny weather right now. :)

    The Tiny Heart

  12. Christina says:

    THIS just made my morning. all of it. we drive the same and i am totally a weirdo paranoid about car stuff too. i had this bad habit for a while of looking all over my backseat bc i was afraid someone had gotten IN my car. even when it was locked. uhhhh. the heel & workout gear happens to me a lot. i’ll change at work to drive to class but realize my sneakers are in my car…so then i do this walk of fitness shame from the office to my car. it’s great. but hey props to you for having the confidence to go to the mac store. i might have tried to go barefoot like that one hippie chick from the bachelor. KIDDING. that’s gross. and airwrecka? seriously? that is horrible.

  13. Char-lit says:

    OMG I’m never going to be able to park normally now!

  14. Gina says:

    I totally get the backing in thing! I watch too much Law & Order SVU…you just never know. And ha ha ha ha about the wine pairing with pizza rolls;)
    Thanks for the laughs, girl!
    XO, Gina

  15. Hahah amazingness. All of the driving things/blocking people/flashing lights are all me. Ain’t nobody got time for slow drivers. Or bloggers who never respond to comments!

  16. You are to funny I laugh so hard by the way I love that queso I know exactly what you talking about very very addicting with wine and chips lol. Come on work shoes to your class lol you killing me.

  17. lol your shoes look great with your barre outfit!!!!

    and yes, if you even THINK of posting how amazing your weather is right now, we certainly will come at you with a pitchfork!!! snow again today in NJ and talking of almost 3 ft on Sunday- Monday! ARGH.

    Just kidding though, it might be nice to see some palm trees :)

  18. I am allll about girls night that include queso y wine! I love the phonetic spelling confession; I am right there with ya!

  19. Haha I love your blog even more after this post. I also ALWAYS forget to bring appropriate shoes to barre when I go straight from work. There’s been several occasions where I’ve sported the “no-limits” tank with pumps to the grocery store. (Not a good look)

    Don’t even get me started about walking to your car paranoia…

    Except I kind of have that when I get into bed, there’s definitely going to be a 1/2 dead chick who grabs my ankle and pulls me under (Sixth Sense ruined me)


    ^KY blogger who will go after you with a pitch fork for any warm weather posts in the next 4-8 weeks :)

  20. Jordan says:

    I seriously just spent the last few minutes nodding my head while I read this. You are hilarious and now I want queso so thanks for that! :) But seriously, if you are in the left lane – GO FASTER. I really, really hate that. I once got cut off by someone going UNDER the speed limit (wtf) so I may or may not have tailgated them… and they then slammed on their brakes, got out of their car, beat the shit out of my window, and threatened to kill me. SO I don’t do that anymore. That’s Houston for you though!

  21. Loved this post Amanda! I am always petrified when I get in my car, especially at night, but even just when I stop to get gas (which is weird because I’m standing right there) that someone is in my backseat (ever seen Homeland). So scary!! Also, next time you have that meal, please include me, thanks – definitely my kind of dinner!

    Clothes & Quotes

  22. Hahaha!! What a great post!! Love your barre and heel look you totally can pull it off! ;)

    <3 Shannon

  23. I confess I suck so bad at driving that backing in is impossible for me to accomplish. But I would be on board with your plan otherwise. Whenever my boyfriend is at his house, I totally eat chips/salsa or cereal for dinner.

  24. haha i am the same way about songs! I get super possessive! and i back my car in too- no shame in that!

  25. the using heels after a class is funny! your confessions are so interesting <3

    Letters To Juliet

  26. Carly says:

    I totally get what you mean about the car thing! When I was getting my first car I insisted on getting something without a trunk because I was paranoid someone would put me in my trunk! I think I watched one too many episodes of law & order!

  27. This entire post CRACKED me up!! Your chips/queso/wine dinner looks almost identical to mine from Friday night…… Oops. :)

  28. Haha love the Erica. I totally get the bad blogger not talking about weather Im from the opposite side of the country though! CA!

  29. JumpingJE says:

    But that post barre outfit with heels is sassy! I think you have something there!

  30. Hey Amanda! Just stopping by from Humpday Confessions! I literally burst out laughing about 2 seconds in! That dog at the top is SO funny! lol I love your confessions! I too have a voice inside my head that you really want to do this? And it continuously haunts me.. what do they think..? etc. I am an introvert and a people person at the same time. (so weird) So I understand lol. Lovely post!

    Talk soon! xo

  31. Emily says:

    You crack me up :) as does that crazy dancing puppy!! And I can’t tell you how many times I have done that with my work shoes ;) so don’t worry – you’re not alone!

  32. Megan says:

    hahahah LOVE your confessions! I can definitely relate to these. So hilarious. Thanks for being so honest :) Love this link up!!

    xo Megan, Lush to Blush

  33. Haha!! This was the best! I’m totally guilty of all the car things (flashing my brights at people, being annoyed when I have to let people over and always thinking someone is hiding in my back seat… yep) and Taken ruined me as well. But I do love some Liam Neeson. Hope you got your Mac book situation all figured out!

  34. Amanda says:

    Haha well this was entertaining! Happy to have found your blog, girl. My friend/classmate teaches pure barre and we had a girls night workout there last semester.. it was an eye opening experience for someone who thought they were in shape to say the least. Wew


  35. Stephanie says:

    On the occasions I drive my moms car, I totally do a hop thing to get in so I don’t get too close to the underside, like… if someone were under it, they’d have to reach out so far to grab me that they wouldn’t get a good grab! I also check the backseats and trunk (it’s an suv) before getting in. Paranoia is legit!

  36. I’m pretty sure I will still sign up to be a video ho! haha Great confessions :)

  37. Darcy says:

    Girl I am paranoid right with ya!! Seriously stuff like that just freaks me out. I cannot watch stuff like SVU because it is all just too real too me!

  38. Bahahahah… Airwrecka… bahahaha… why? Just… WHY?! What is the fucking matter with people? Why would you do that to your child?!?!

  39. Suzanne S. says:

    hahaha great confessions!! Link ups are so much fun :)
    Suzanne from written by suzanne

  40. LOL these confessions are priceless!! I am secretly becoming obsessed with your posts. Can totally relate to your carisms– it is an adventure every time I commute from S. Tampa to St. Pete with this ridiculous traffic. Mike calls me Mario Andretti and is scared for our baby to drive in the car with me ;) You know I am experiencing the patient name scenario every shift as well… unfortunately I personally am guilty too!! No one pronounces my name correctly and I stump my co-workers and patients haha– it is my Mom’s fault obviously! Can’t wait to try the Costco queso as well! Your app/wine dinner is a regular over in the Calitri house ;)

  41. Jessi Otey says:

    hahaha you make me laugh so hard! And just so you know- my mom ALWAYS told us to check under the car so someone didn’t grab our feet, knock us down and steal the car, us etc. I’ll always think of that now!

  42. I ALWAYS think someone is under my car, about to mug me, hold me at gunpoint, etc. I have to walk pretty far to my car from work and it’s not the best part of town. I can’t stand it. I also hate getting gas for fear that someone will roll under my car and clip my ankles while I’m pumping gas.

  43. I’ve never tried to fit under my car, but I’ve had thoughts about people waiting for me at my car or hiding under it too. totally normal!
    — jackie – jade and oak

  44. AMEN to this entire post. Your in my head with all these confessions and I think you should rant and rave more often. Take that with a grain of salt from this lunatic :) Have fun with the geniuses. I damn near lost my shit on them when I walked in and they asked if I had an appointment. A wha? I need to schedule time with these robots? Nothankspleasefixmyiphone. And yes I think you’re nuts backing your car in, but you’re safe, so who’s the dummy now?

  45. Lauren says:

    OMG I love Dark Horse! And we just got a Costco so I am adding that queso to my must-have list! Ugh on the Macbook. They are too damn expensive not to work straight from the box. The pic of the serial number was a genius idea!

  46. Ok – as a newish reader of your blog, I have to admit, this post made me reaaaalllllyyyy like you. You were speaking my language with the queso, chips, and wine dinner! ;-)
    Super funny, and I hope you do more like this.
    XO – Samantha

  47. Haha. These were great! I think we all need to take a moment now and have a dance party.

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