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I really should have gotten my act together and done this post yesterday with Kathy but well…..I didn’t. I feel like I haven’t told one of my random stories for y’all to laugh at since my BB gun almost hood shooting. So sit back and relax while I tell you about why you should never ever give a 16 year old a new car.
See my parents after having 6 of us learned this valid lesson early on. Therefore I did not get a new car but I did get a car when I turned 16 so I was very thankful for this. A sweet Pontiac Grand Am because my parents are from Michigan and you can only buy GM cars. Anything is foreign and Not American (they have loved my recent German purchase but I digress). In Massachusetts (wow long time since I’ve wrote that out….not going to lie I had to sing it out to get the spelling right). Anyways they had some tough driving rules which now after the fact, I am all about. I don’t think anyone should be driving until they are 18. I mean the stupid stuff I did and I was halfway responsible!
In Florida you get your permit at 15! I mean you wonder why I drive like a defensive race car driver in this state that I reside in. Between the old people who block the fast lane going 20….the out of state people who have no flippin idea where they are going “oh look it’s my exit….don’t mind me as I cross over 4 lane of traffic…..uhhhhhhh RIGHT NOW!” and the 15 year olds on the road. No wonder why I feel like this about 10 times a day.
So anyways I got a car when I turned 16 but couldn’t really drive it until I was 16 1/2 (State rules)….my parents never had to worry about me sneaking the car out….the snow tracks would tell all.
For your enjoyment here are two delightfully awful stories for proof as to why you should give your 16 year old kid the biggest piece of junk to drive until that frontal lobe fully develops and they are no longer complete morons.
First story. I was so flippin cool when I was 16 I mean heck didn’t we all feel that way…case in point (always had that hot pink lipgloss on…..I think I’m 18 in this picture….minor details but you get the point of young Amanda).
One day after school (I can still remember like it was yesterday) I drove over to our neighboring town to go to the tanning salon because duh looking orange in the middle of the winter in Massachusetts was totally normal and not weird at all!
So that sweet Grand AM was low to the ground and it was quite hard to see the front of the car. After I was done tanning I hoped back into my car….popped in whatever sweet CD mix I had made at the time….Sharpie marker on the front with some super awesome title like “Techno Jamz Volume 3” with the various squiggly line sharpie in other colors. So here I was jamming out to Alice Deejay at the top part of a two level parking lot. This was outdoors so there was the top level and a bottom level. I couldn’t find a picture to really illustrate it….so no worries I totally drew one for you. I am a visual learner. Please do not be blown away with my photoshop skills.
Well I wanted to go down to the bottom level to get out….so it looked like there was a down ramp in front of me. I whipped that bad boy into drive and proceeded to go down the ramp. When I heard the first CLUNK…..I realized I had made a big mistake.
Luckily I don’t hear anything scrapping or dragging….yes! Just in time to move onto the next genius story that happened about two weeks later. I was driving back from a friend’s house and when I say “friend’s house” I mean boy’s house that I shouldn’t have been at. Of course it’s pouring rain….I’m late for getting back home and naturally I’m about to run out of gas because I didn’t stop to think of getting it before I was off to wrong side of town to hang with boys that were not approved of.
So I see a gas station and without thinking whip my car into the first available spot that I see. Only I was looking too far into the distance and didn’t turn in where there was an opening…..no genius over here drove that tiny sedan straight into a curb. I hit it so perfectly and at that angle I couldn’t do it again if you were to pay me….somehow the entire weight of the engine dropped down on the frame bar and bent the bar up into the engine. My car was literally teetering on the curb like a seesaw.
My brother Bryan who literally can remodel your entire house and rebuild your car lifted the Grand Am on a dock and had me crawl underneath it. “In all my years I have never seen the frame of a car bent up into the engine….what….the….hell….did….you…..do???”
What stupid things did you do growing up and driving. If I ever have kids I will get them the biggest SUV beater because all the things I did in that little car….I needed to be bubbled wrapped that is for sure! Oh and this is the first time I ever told my parents this story….so there is that ;-) p.s you know you want to follow me on my various social media musings down below xoxoxo