In Florida you get your permit at 15! I mean you wonder why I drive like a defensive race car driver in this state that I reside in. Between the old people who block the fast lane going 20….the out of state people who have no flippin idea where they are going “oh look it’s my exit….don’t mind me as I cross over 4 lane of traffic…..uhhhhhhh RIGHT NOW!” and the 15 year olds on the road. No wonder why I feel like this about 10 times a day.
For your enjoyment here are two delightfully awful stories for proof as to why you should give your 16 year old kid the biggest piece of junk to drive until that frontal lobe fully develops and they are no longer complete morons.
First story. I was so flippin cool when I was 16 I mean heck didn’t we all feel that way…case in point (always had that hot pink lipgloss on…..I think I’m 18 in this picture….minor details but you get the point of young Amanda).
One day after school (I can still remember like it was yesterday) I drove over to our neighboring town to go to the tanning salon because duh looking orange in the middle of the winter in Massachusetts was totally normal and not weird at all!
Well I wanted to go down to the bottom level to get out….so it looked like there was a down ramp in front of me. I whipped that bad boy into drive and proceeded to go down the ramp. When I heard the first CLUNK…..I realized I had made a big mistake.
Oh yes my friends….that wasn’t a ramp it was a set of stairs. My unbelievably intelligent self had just driven my low lying car over a set of stairs.
Here is where it get’s worse. I think to myself (remember frontal lobe not developed don’t judge) “should I get out and push the car back up????”
No Amanda that is a terrible idea! What if you aren’t strong enough (me at like 110 lbs scrawny white girl) and the car rolls forward and crushes you. Yeah probably not smart.
I guess I have no other choice but to…..clunk….clunk….clunk….clunk…..clunk go down the rest of them. I got to the bottom my heart was pounding and I kept on thinking my parents are going to kill me!
So I see a gas station and without thinking whip my car into the first available spot that I see. Only I was looking too far into the distance and didn’t turn in where there was an opening…..no genius over here drove that tiny sedan straight into a curb. I hit it so perfectly and at that angle I couldn’t do it again if you were to pay me….somehow the entire weight of the engine dropped down on the frame bar and bent the bar up into the engine. My car was literally teetering on the curb like a seesaw.
I called my dad made up some sob story…..he came to get me and oh the explaining from that one.
My brother Bryan who literally can remodel your entire house and rebuild your car lifted the Grand Am on a dock and had me crawl underneath it. “In all my years I have never seen the frame of a car bent up into the engine….what….the….hell….did….you…..do???”
My answer is and will remain the same…..no 16 year old should be driving a car. Let alone anything nice. They are all dangers to society.