Why You Should Never Give a 16 Year Old a New Car-Case in Point

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I really should have gotten my act together and done this post yesterday with Kathy but well…..I didn’t.  I feel like I haven’t told one of my random stories for y’all to laugh at since my BB gun almost hood shooting.  So sit back and relax while I tell you about why you should never ever give a 16 year old a new car.
See my parents after having 6 of us learned this valid lesson early on.  Therefore I did not get a new car but I did get a car when I turned 16 so I was very thankful for this.  A sweet Pontiac Grand Am because my parents are from Michigan and you can only buy GM cars.  Anything is foreign and Not American (they have loved my recent German purchase but I digress).  In Massachusetts (wow long time since I’ve wrote that out….not going to lie I had to sing it out to get the spelling right).  Anyways they had some tough driving rules which now after the fact, I am all about.  I don’t think anyone should be driving until they are 18.  I mean the stupid stuff I did and I was halfway responsible!

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In Florida you get your permit at 15!  I mean you wonder why I drive like a defensive race car driver in this state that I reside in.  Between the old people who block the fast lane going 20….the out of state people who have no flippin idea where they are going “oh look it’s my exit….don’t mind me as I cross over 4 lane of traffic…..uhhhhhhh RIGHT NOW!” and the 15 year olds on the road.  No wonder why I feel like this about 10 times a day.

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So anyways I got a car when I turned 16 but couldn’t really drive it until I was 16 1/2 (State rules)….my parents never had to worry about me sneaking the car out….the snow tracks would tell all.

For your enjoyment here are two delightfully awful stories for proof as to why you should give your 16 year old kid the biggest piece of junk to drive until that frontal lobe fully develops and they are no longer complete morons.

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First story.  I was so flippin cool when I was 16 I mean heck didn’t we all feel that way…case in point (always had that hot pink lipgloss on…..I think I’m 18 in this picture….minor details but you get the point of young Amanda).

One day after school (I can still remember like it was yesterday) I drove over to our neighboring town to go to the tanning salon because duh looking orange in the middle of the winter in Massachusetts was totally normal and not weird at all!

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So that sweet Grand AM was low to the ground and it was quite hard to see the front of the car.  After I was done tanning I hoped back into my car….popped in whatever sweet CD mix I had made at the time….Sharpie marker on the front with some super awesome title like “Techno Jamz Volume 3” with the various squiggly line sharpie in other colors.  So here I was jamming out to Alice Deejay at the top part of a two level parking lot.  This was outdoors so there was the top level and a bottom level.   I couldn’t find a picture to really illustrate it….so no worries I totally drew one for you.  I am a visual learner.  Please do not be blown away with my photoshop skills.

Well I wanted to go down to the bottom level to get out….so it looked like there was a down ramp in front of me.  I whipped that bad boy into drive and proceeded to go down the ramp.  When I heard the first CLUNK…..I realized I had made a big mistake.

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Oh yes my friends….that wasn’t a ramp it was a set of stairs.  My unbelievably intelligent self had just driven my low lying car over a set of stairs.

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I wish I was joking.

Here is where it get’s worse.  I think to myself (remember frontal lobe not developed don’t judge) “should I get out and push the car back up????”

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No Amanda that is a terrible idea!  What if you aren’t strong enough (me at like 110 lbs scrawny white girl) and the car rolls forward and crushes you.  Yeah probably not smart.

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I guess I have no other choice but to…..clunk….clunk….clunk….clunk…..clunk go down the rest of them.  I got to the bottom my heart was pounding and I kept on thinking my parents are going to kill me!

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Luckily I don’t hear anything scrapping or dragging….yes!  Just in time to move onto the next genius story that happened about two weeks later.  I was driving back from a friend’s house and when I say “friend’s house” I mean boy’s house that I shouldn’t have been at.  Of course it’s pouring rain….I’m late for getting back home and naturally I’m about to run out of gas because I didn’t stop to think of getting it before I was off to wrong side of town to hang with boys that were not approved of.

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So I see a gas station and without thinking whip my car into the first available spot that I see.  Only I was looking too far into the distance and didn’t turn in where there was an opening…..no genius over here drove that tiny sedan straight into a curb.  I hit it so perfectly and at that angle I couldn’t do it again if you were to pay me….somehow the entire weight of the engine dropped down on the frame bar and bent the bar up into the engine.  My car was literally teetering on the curb like a seesaw.

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In the pouring rain and just about to run out of gas.  (Probably was a leftover injury from the above related stairs incident).

I called my dad made up some sob story…..he came to get me and oh the explaining from that one.

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My brother Bryan who literally can remodel your entire house and rebuild your car lifted the Grand Am on a dock and had me crawl underneath it.  “In all my years I have never seen the frame of a car bent up into the engine….what….the….hell….did….you…..do???”

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My answer is and will remain the same…..no 16 year old should be driving a car.  Let alone anything nice.  They are all dangers to society.

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What stupid things did you do growing up and driving.  If I ever have kids I will get them the biggest SUV beater because all the things I did in that little car….I needed to be bubbled wrapped that is for sure!  Oh and this is the first time I ever told my parents this story….so there is that ;-)
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55 responses to “Why You Should Never Give a 16 Year Old a New Car-Case in Point”

  1. I didn’t think it could get much worse than being 16 and Asian! Man, did I kill off half the food chain and left many notes on windshields from backing into parked cars! Except, who am I kidding? I never left notes on cars as a teen. I just crept around like a ninja to make sure I didn’t do any damage and took off.
    Eva Marie Taylor

  2. Haha! Too funny! In Texas we get our permits to drive with a licensed driver at the age of 15 and our licenses at 16. However, I didn’t get a car until I was 18 and it definitely wasn’t new. Until then I had to borrow my parents cars, which I luckily never harmed. Though I did manage to scrape a parked car in my dad’s old Mustang. Ooops.

  3. Stacy G says:

    Lol! I do think 16 is too young too drive. I have a few funny pics of my short lived tanning days. Which of course were accompanied with a head to toe Hollister/Abercrombie ensemble. Haha Don’t ask me why my parents allowed me to do that(tanning).. because my daughter certainly won’t be stepping into a tanning bed as long as I can help it. : ) Self tanner is always an option

  4. I cannot believe you went down the stairs!! That is so funny. I wish I was in the parking lot witnessing that. I don’t have any room to talk because I drove my car into a huge storm drain going 60 and it pushed my tire underneath my car. I was so dumb at 16 I don’t know why I was given a car either haha.

  5. This is hilarious!!! As the 15 1/2 year old that was allowed to get her permit in Florida, I’m a pretty great driver!! I think the fact that our highways in FL are so much wider than anywhere else (aside from CA and TX) makes us think we have plenty of room to cross 5 lanes!! My funny story is that I hit a fire hydrant backing out of a space…it was yellow…it left a little yellow mark on my car – told my dad I hit a yellow car – he believed me!! The crazy stuff we make up!!

  6. How are you even alive still? Haha!

    My first car was a speedy grand prix gtp, and man did I put that thing through hell! Poor car =(

  7. Kiki says:

    Haha I can’t believe the stairs incident, I would have been so stressed! When I was 16 I thought my car was in reverse and hit the gas. Of course it was in drive and I went straight into m dads new fence. Agreed, don’t give a 16 year old a car.

  8. JumpingJE says:

    YES I love that you outed yourself to mom and dad on the blog. Expect a call in 3… 2…. 1…. :)

  9. Oh my I totally have a great story I should tell about when I was 16 and driving. I agree that my 16 year old shouldn’t have a license but she will in the state of SC. I haven’t had a lot of issue with teens driving around here it’s more the old people and the tourists that scare me.

  10. OMG I was dying laughing while reading this. I probably shouldn’t be since you know, that all sounds dangerous but at least you survived! My parents didn’t let me get my license until I was 18 but I still had my own stupid driving moments but my parents made me buy my own car so I think I was a bit more careful knowing it was my money I was driving around. And driving in Florida sucks. At least in Orlando where you have ALL the crazy tourists looking for Mickey and stopping as soon as they see anything with his face on it. UGHHHH!

    <3, Pamela

  11. This is so freakin hilarious. And I couldn’t agree more! I think back to the crazy/stupid things my friends and I did and sometimes wonder how we survived. Love all the GIFs too!

  12. Haha oh my gosh! I so wish you had a photo of the car driving down the stairs!

    The Tiny Heart
    $520 Giveaway!

  13. Hahaha! Remind me never to get into a car with you!!! I don’t have any wild stories of accidents but I was driving my Dad’s car and the brake line went out and I had to do a crazy spin before thinking and stepping on the emergency brake. It was sch an old car but it freaked me out.

  14. OMG you had you me cracking up at work with this!

    So when I was about 16, and a senior in high school, I was changing the CD in my Ford Taurus and I ran into a sidewalk going about 40 miles per hour. I popped the tire, conked up the alignment, and I had to call my parents and tell them that I had had a blowout….and I think they believed me :(

  15. Joey says:

    I actually laughed out loud at the stairs story. Oh. My. Gosh. I’m dying. DYING! This was way too funny. And yes–you’re right. No 16 year old should have a brand new car. Although, I’m cursing that now as I’m nearly 28 and driving the same hand me down car I got when I got my permit…yes…at 15!

  16. bahahahahaha i can’t believe you drove down a flight of stairs! if it makes you feel better, i drove through my garage door in high school. yup, through it! i hit the gas instead of the brake when pulling into the driveway. worst thing is, everyone had to pass my house to get to school because i lived right near it, so EVERYONE knew what happened and was making fun of me at school. i can totally relate you on this story haha!

  17. Christina says:

    omg i’m in tears laughing so hard. the way you told this story was just too hysterical. i was a horrendous driver too. one afternoon i mistaked (mistook? ew what a weird word) the GAS for the BRAKE hit our (closed) garage door. well not only the door but this major part of the house. my uncle who was in construction at the time came to look at it and said “umm christina, you hit a major supporting beam of the house and bent it. it’s basically the beam that HOLDS UP YOUR BEDROOM” hahhahahah what a mess.

  18. I went through way too many cars… but never managed to go down a flight of stairs :)

  19. I was going to comment on how tanned you were in that picture and then I read about you driving to the tanning salon and it all made sense, haha. I love that you drew a picture of the parking lot! I think if I drove onto stairs, I would have tried to back up. Buuut, I don’t have my drivers license (still) so what do I know? :p

  20. Erin says:

    OMG. I am laughing out loud, ” clunk, clunk, clunk…” You continued to go down the stairs! I am dying! Thank for this gem!

  21. Hilarious. I can picture that whole driving down the stairs thing taking place, omg. I couldn’t agree more. The older I get and realize how dumb and immature I was at the age of 16 makes me think no way should a 16 year old get a drivers license. At 16, we lived on a dirt road, I had gone to Sonic to get a foot long coney and decided to swerve back and forth on the dirt road. Why, I’m not sure. I lost control and ended up in a ditch with a chili cheese coney in my lap. #fail

  22. Haha! First of all – Michigan people only buying GM cars, SO TRUE. And second of all, I looove that you just drove down the rest of the stairs! I was laughing out loud. I totally agree – 16 year olds really can’t be trusted with nice cars. I was always running late/cutting it close to my curfew so I would be driving home so fast that I would pull into my garage too far and hit the wall 75% of the time. I can’t tell you how many times my dad had to re-dry wall my side of the garage hahaha

  23. Haha! The dumb things we all do as “badass” kids! Luckily, I had an old Jeep Cherokee and most of my stupid shit went undetected. Someone even rear ended me at a red light and I let them drive off with not getting information because they didn’t leave any marks and I didn’t feel like getting a lecture from my dad because somehow he would have found it to be MY fault.

  24. Ashley says:

    omg this is hilarious!! p.s. I totally had that same shirt you are wearing in the lip gloss pic…the “Hottie” shirt from AE. haha :)

  25. Tracey says:

    This is amazing. I love the graphics and the first story made me gasp out loud! My first car was a Pontiac Sunfire, which is quite similar if I’m not mistaken. The longer front and lower nature of the car caused me to get into many awkward driving situations. Many that I will take to the grave LOL!

  26. Carly says:

    OMG! I can’t believe you went all the way down the stairs! hahaha And I hate to admit I’ve definitely hit those stupid gas station curbs one too many times! And you’re right it is kind of crazy/scary when you think of how young people can technically be behind the wheel!

  27. Omg I am cracking up!!!!! The stairs is freaking hilarious! Something I would totally do!! I don’t know how many times I have driven the wrong way down a one way road! And I have hopped quite a few curbs in my days and backed into poles… Ya the list goes on. And the first thing you do is, crap did anyone see that?! Rather than what did I hit or is my car ok haha!

    <3 Shannon

  28. Oh my goodness! These stories are too good. You can laugh about them now at least! :)

  29. Miche says:

    LMAO, Amanda, I literally laughed out loud at work while reading this. I have SO many horror stories from driving at 16, maybe we need to make this kind of post a thing? Awareness for parents and teenagers alike lol
    Miche from Buttons and Birdcages

  30. Melanie says:

    LOL!!! I also had a Grand Am, 93. Glad my parents bought that for me because I drove that car like crap! haha!! I always forgot my keys in the car (didn’t have a spare) so I had to call a Locksmith even though my dad had been telling me for months to get some copies of the keys made. Ran out of gas several times because the damn gas gauge didn’t work. It would stop in the middle of the intersection or at the entrance of a restaurant. So embarassing!

  31. brooke lyn says:

    i am dying that you had to continue down the stairs. that is the best part!

  32. These were amazing stories!!! Mostly because I would have gotten out and tried to push my car back up the stairs too. I tend to panic and do stupid things. “Oh, this will fix it!” Yeah, no :) I cracked up thinking of you dancing to Alice DeeJay and making up a story to cover your ass with that boy. My naughty high school memories just came to mind. We were SO DUMB thinking we got away with it. My mom knew EVERYTHING!

  33. hahah OMG. i just laughed out loud at the stair story! holy moly. i dont know what i would have done etiher. im amazed you made it down the stairs.

    my worst car story was when i was in high school driving my sweeeeet honda (teal green with a nasty sunroof!) home from my (then) boyfriend’s house. I got a flat tire SO instead of pulling over I turn up my radio…eh. it didnt help. the tire then totally deflated and shredded. i was stuck on the side of the road, by cornfields…in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night. i SHOULD have just walked to my bf’s house but instead I took a ride home with a stranger (IDIOT). anyways i made it back to his place alive (thank the lord).

    but yah. it pretty much terrifies me that kids that young are driving.

  34. Stephanie says:

    I cannot stop laughing at this right now. The stairs!! You drove down stairs!! I can’t even handle it.

  35. Im crying laughing at this!!! Im from NY so I get the GM thing. My grandfather worked for them so all of our cars were GMs. Im dreading the day when my kids can drive. I wasn’t to bad really, my dad was a truck driver so he was real good at teaching me how to drive. But your stories are GREAT!

  36. GIRL!!! This is hysterical!!! Love it!!

  37. Ohhh my god, I’m trying to picture all of this & I’m laughing so hard! I didn’t get my license until I was 19 & I am oh so ok with that fact!

  38. Jordan says:

    Literally LOLing at you driving down stairs!!! That is amazing.

    I totaled my first car when I was 17. Jamming out to Lil Wayne’s “3 Peat” (can’t make this up), it’s pouring down rain, and I *assume* a truck that I was approaching was going to turn right (he could have but for whatever reason decided not to go) so I didn’t slow down as much as I should have, waited too long, slammed on brakes, and hydro-planed into his tailgate. Also, he had children in his backseat. I cried. It was horrible. I now think of this incident every time I hear that Lil Wayne song!

  39. Kim says:

    I literally laughed out loud at this post!! Also, I thought everybody got their permit at 15, haha.

  40. Angi Solle says:

    Laughed my way through this entire post…the gifs always make everything that much more funny! I always joke that I didn’t learn to drive until I was 20, but got my license at 16. It is so true though, who gives a 16 year old a license in general!

  41. Bahahahahahah… driving down the stairs… bahahahahahahahhaahahahahaaaaa! At least you’re pretty. :)

  42. Kayla MKOY says:

    OH MY GOODNESS!!! Hahaha this is too funny. I’m glad you’re safe after all these crazy stories ;)

  43. Daleian says:

    I’m laughing so hard right now! At least you got good stories from that! :)

  44. jessica says:

    i love a story with gifs, it makes it so much better!! and my first car was a grand dayuuummmm.
    get it girl! you sound like an excellent driver! :-)

  45. Haha. Amazing. We once ended up seconds away from driving up the off ramp for the highway, with much screaming my friend turned around and we didn’t get squashed. I feel like I also had a few of those well titled cd’s, the sharpie lines are how you know it’s the best cd ever. Of course.

  46. Hahaha!! This is the best! I seriously laughed out loud! My family is from michigan and we only buy Fords! :) I ran into the curb as well except even worse I was trying to get in the turn lane and there was a mini median and if course I ran it over and bent my rims. On Homecoming I was following my friends car and totally wanted to make it through the yellow light EXCEPT she stopped… Re ended her and totaled her car. No getting out of that one!!!

  47. HAHAHA! OH man I love it. My sister and I did a number on our cars too! I have a post about my life and cars and I threw a couple of my little stories in there. aww my poor dad.

  48. Elle Sees says:

    i failed my test the first time i took it. i hate driving, tbh. i’m a good driver, i just don’t like it!

  49. That’s amazing! Love the story! When I was 16/17 in the high school parking lot me and another girl back into each other.

  50. Myra says:

    I cannot even handle this. I snorted, yes snorted, at the stairs story and then lol’d so hard at the seesaw picture that even my dog thought I had gone crazy. I didn’t get a car til 17 1/2 and I’m still amazed I made it to see 27 some days lol.

  51. This is just hilarious! Had me laughing out loud, and a wonderful way to start my day. I’m glad I found your blog through Katie Elizabeth :)

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