Let me begin by telling you I am a firm believer of never speaking ill of your significant other. We all have our quirks….some more than others…..but at the end of the day you need to be their biggest advocate and supporter because in the end don’t you want to be with someone who does the same for you?
With that said. I love Mark. I really do. I mean this post still warms my heart but let’s be honest…..men and women are two entirely different breeds right? We clearly do not have the same thought process or the ability to find a measuring cup that is and has always been in the same spot above the stove since day one of cooking together. So let me tell you a little story about laundry detergent. I am glad I can laugh about this now.
Let me paint the stage. Flashback to 6 months ago where Mark comes home proudly from Target with 6 bottles (oh yes 6) of laundry detergent that they were apparently “liquidating on clearance“. First example of how men and women are different. We see a sale and go “meh it’s only 15% what else you got for me. I’ll keep an eye on it and if it goes to 50%…..I’ll consider it because those dang things are heavy and I only came in for nail polish remover and now my hands are full with this lamp I found in the clearance aisle” but I digress…..
Now men see “sales” (I use that term loosely….see above) and they feel the need to buy at least 6 because it’s a great deal and it must mean that they are discontinuing their favorite product.
Time to stock up.
Looking back I wish I would have said something then but at the time I’m sure I was buried in something blog/work/teaching/grading/barre related so I’m sure I mumbled something to the effect of “great sounds good babe” and continued on.
Mistake number 1.
Flash now to Labor Day where I had extensively researched our new front loaders, price compared and even found a coupon. We were getting that steam LG front loader set. It was happening. So after we got all the logistics figured out and were walking up to pay at the front of the store we walked past the detergent aisle.
Mistake number 2.
You know when you just have the complete word vomit moment where you can’t even recall why you let the words slip out of your mouth……come on stupid brain catch these things. I made the terrible mistake of saying.
“You know we need different laundry detergent for these machines right? You have to use the He, high efficiency kind”.
Not really but it wasn’t pretty. Even to the point of the guy who sold it to us coming up and saying he “did a quick google search and it really doesn’t matter about what detergent you buy“.
Back off Harry Potter look a like but the Emo man child version.
Now we are standing in Lowe’s pretty much in a standoff to which I proclaim “I’ll take all 6 of the bottles back and exchange them for the He kind” (which I really didn’t want to do but at the time you just say it to get out of the store right?). To know which he proclaims “we will just use up what we have and then buy the washer machines when we run out“.
Makes total rational sense right?
No. No it doesn’t.
To which I proclaimed something to the effect of we will probably be flying in our cars by the time that happens. So we huff out of there after the decision to buy them because the Labor Day Sales were just that good to pass up.
I get home and look at that beloved detergent and wouldn’t you know out of the 6 that were bought……4 of them were He already. The correct kind for our new front loader washer and dryer.
This is where it gets good.
So naturally I paraded those bottles out in front of him (small moral victories) and proceeded to tell him I’d take the other two back. I know this is a long winded one I promise I’m almost done.
Now next example of how men and women are different. Women we would return those two bottles knowing there are 4 more at home….fist pump in enjoyment of our newly scored Target gift card and then go proceed to spend it all on shoes and makeup…..most likely owing something when we left. Men would exchange it out for the other ones because that is just what you do. Even though you have 4 already at home.
So I motored it to Target on my lunch break because I didn’t want to even look at them anymore, naturally get stuck behind the girl who ordered her entire dorm room online to be delivered in store for pickup but that’s a whole long story for another day. I get my gift card (because naturally there is no receipt to speak of) and proceed to the detergent aisle to find this deal.
Buy 3 bottles of detergent, get a $10 Target gift card and a $10 mail in rebate.
Yup that’s pretty much how I felt about the situation.
Y’all I almost didn’t buy it out of sheer principle. I was exchanging those two and getting out of there but it would have been more expensive in the long run to even do that. So what did I do…….
I bought another damn bottle of laundry detergent and hauled all 3 of them through Target sans shopping cart because I can carry 2……one in each hand but 3 was an obstacle.
I pretty much hated myself as I loaded them into the trunk.
Here is the last final example of how men and women are different. I came home expecting some praise for my savvy shopping and the fact I didn’t trade them in for a pair of new boots. To which I got this response “you didn’t just trade them for the other bottles??”
“Well He detergent is more expensive you can’t just equally swap them out….they aren’t the same“.
“They are both Tide detergent why can’t you swap them out? So actually you spent more doing that?“.
Next time I’m just getting the booties.
Moral of the story. If you want to come over and wash your clothes in our new beautiful front loaders with Tide sport He detergent that will pretty much last a lifetime. Feel free. Come on over bring the wine plus cheese & crackers.
Alright tell me I’m not the only one who has these life stories where it is very obvious that men and women are just wired differently? You have to use the special detergent right? Something about it not sudsing as much? Hope you are having a fab week! xoxoxo