So this story made me laugh because I just came down from my high of being all glamarous in Miami with my fabulous friends and perfect little party dress and then BAM. Reality brought me back down.
Okay let me set the scene. It was one of those mornings I was running late (shocking I know)…..my purse was slung over my shoulder, my workbag (stethoscope, computer etc) was in the crook of my arm and I was grasping my lunch tote in my hand. I had a protein shake with no lid, my tall tervis tumbler pure barre water bottle which I hooked through my finger and since the dishwasher wasn’t clean I had a coffee mug…..like not a to go mug…..an actual mug that you are supposed to sit and sip from while reading your paper in my other hand.
I wish I could say this was a rare morning with the amount of stuff I leave with. In my defense I usually am gone for 12 hours and completing multiple tasks/jobs in one day so I have to leave prepared.
With my body and limbs as a human clothes line I actually paused to myself and said out loud “this is a bad idea“.
Foreshadowing much?
So now I’m driving for about 15 minutes with my water bottle in between my legs, the protein shake sans lid in the terrible cup holder and I have my coffee cup in my left hand. I’m talking to my mother on my phone (hands free through my speaker) when it happens.
Let’s back up now. First thing when this happened the few days before I had been moving. I used my car to transport many boxes to the goodwill.
Do you know where this is going?
So as I’m sitting at the stop light with my coffee cup in hand and water bottle in between my legs while wearing a dress (of course I am). Something catches the corner of my eye.
I look forward and stare straight into a cockroach that is no kidding aside about half the size of the palm of my hand. It was on my visor and pretty much inches away from my face. It flicked it’s little antenna just to let me know I wasn’t seeing things……taunting me if you will. It’s not like I could call Terminix maryland pest control like I could if I was at home…I was trapped, in the car, with a cockroach.
I WISH I WAS JOKING.
Open coffee cup in my hand about to drive over a bridge with a cockroach staring me square in the face at my eye level. I’m sweating just reliving this.
I think my mother was genuinely scared of the octave my voice went up to.
What would you have done?
I reached into my back seat and found a blanket that was used for packing and tried to smash it. Then I tried to crumple it and threw it into my backseat. I saw it squirm away.
Then I had to drive over a 12 mile bridge.
When I got to the other side I stopped at a CVS and went shrieking out of my car like a straight up crazy person. There was a poor soul who happened to walk by. I’m pretty sure I scared them as well.
I then proceeded to rip every single thing out of my car and shake it out. Nothing. I threw it all in the trunk and put my hair on top of my head……didn’t need any stray hairs hitting me. Then I had to drive another 30 minutes to work. It was the longest 30 minutes of my life. Every flicker I thought it was coming back for round 2.
That is the one thing about FL I will never get used to. Cockroaches. When I heard they fly. Stop. I thought it was a joke until it was witnessed. The best part of the story after I called Mark to fill him in on my horrifying event he calmly asked “did you roll down your windows and open the sunroof afterwards?“
No. Since that makes way more sense instead of re trapping myself for another 30 minutes.
Here is the worst part. That little nightmare has never been seen since. It’s like a ticking time bomb. However your morning started off like……or how crazy/crappy your week may have been just think of the fact I started off my morning by staring a cockroach in it’s face…….and it won. xoxoxoxoxo
oh. my. god. worst nightmare. i shrieked for you. i would’ve done the same damn thing except probably crashed somewhere in there. best thing about living in MA? NO ROACHES!!! ok also no sun but whatever hahahah
Oh my Lord I would die. Like seriously, I may have a heart attack and die. I once had a spider come down on it’s web in front of my face in the car. Thank God I was in the passenger seat and not driving, but my hubby witnessed first hand my real phobia. But a roach…….that’s a whole ‘nother level of freaked out. I don’t know how you got back in the car after that.
OMG, the bugs here in China suck! I have found a LOT of gross insects in my apartment, so I totally feel ya! Icky ick!
This is my first time reading your blog and I AM HYSTERICALLY LAUGHING! I am def coming back for more. What a hilariously great first impression
I would absolutely die!!! This is my biggest fear… Especially who be trappe with a bee or spider!!! Waah!!
Dear God I hate cockroaches. I would have flipped a lid … coffee everywhere …
Haha ugh I got chills just reading this! I am so not a fan of bugs, when I was living in Australia the large bugs where by far the worst part!
OMG girl! Hahaha! Is this the same cockroach you texted me and B about or this this a different one that attacked you? If this is a different one I’m starting to get concerned you might have really done something mean to bugs in a past life because they love attacking you!
<3, Pamela
Sequins & Sea Breezes
EEEEEEK! That would totally freak me out too!!! Hopefully it got out without you seeing it when you were tearing through your car!
On a positive note, your description of it was really vivid and I feel like I lived it with you….without actually experiencing the scary stuff haha. I hope the rest of your drives are cockroach free!
I remember this day like it was yesterday!!! I feel the same way about them flying…WHY? They already outlived dinosaurs what else do they have to prove? LOL xo, Biana – BlovedBoston
I once had a spider descend from my car ceiling right in front of my face as I was driving in crazy traffic. Bugs don’t usually bother me, but that was NOT FUN.
omgggg cockroaches are the WORST! they call them palmetto bugs in south carolina but they are just as gross (and they fly!!) i would have freaked if i was in the car with one! xo jillian – cornflake dreams
EEEK! EEEK! SHUT UP! NO WAY!!! GUUuuuuuuuRL!!!!! SO glad you’re okay!
I shrieked to myself just reading this! Thankfully, I haven’t had any close encounters with those bad boys lately, but when we first moved to Florida I used to find them in the bathroom at our apartment all the time. Now in our house, H sprays outside and inside which seems to really help. I think it’s now time to go into the garage and spray the cars too! Hopefully he died in your backseat hence you not seeing him again, but open those window to let him get the f out!
AHHHHHHH!!!! I can’t believe you didn’t manage to spill one of your numerous drinks. I pretty much would have flipped out, so I give you kudos for at least trying to hold it together. Cockroaches. YUCK.
Ughhhh cockroaches. You would think living in FL for the majority of my life I would be used to them by now, but NOPE. And people that live other places don’t even understand because what we have here are not just the small cockroaches, we have PALMETTO BUGS too which are HUGE and FLY and oh my gosh it freaks me out just thinking about it. I would have freaked out in that situation too, but I also would have spilled my coffee and whatever other drink I had so you did better than I would have!
Just reading this made my breathing get short. I moved down to TX 3 years ago & I will never get used to cockroaches. I still scream & if they are in my house I spray roach spray at them until they stop moving. The worst part is when they disappear. Ugh I have the heebie jeebies just thinking about it.
I feel so bad for laughing at this. But, I think I would have done the same exact thing. Heck – I have DONE THIS, not with all the water bottle, coffee cup and protein shake – But, this has happened to me – and it was a SPIDER. And I most certainly scared my son to death (who was like 2 at the time!)
OH MY GOD. I was so freaked out reading this lol, I almost had to stop half way through I was so scared of what was coming! EEKKK if it had been me I’m sure I would have wrecked, major props for not wrecking! I know you drive a BMW and all but I’d burn it ;)
Oh my goodness. I probably would have run screaming from my car right then and there. I think I know the kind you’re talking about too, those big brown “tropical” ones that rival the size of a small cat. I am cringing just thinking about them. I hope you never see that thing again.
Ohhh man. Girl. I would have freaked, too! Ah! Hope that little guy is long gone.
I was waiting for one of those drinks to spill, I think the fact that you made it through that without losing any of those liquids is success in and of it’s self!
Oh my gosh!! I probably would’ve freaked out. And what they FLY?! Ewww. I agree with the others that I’m impressed that you didn’t spill any of your beverages. I also doubt that it came from anything that you had in your car too. :-) I hope that this morning was much better for you. :-)
I’m really glad I moved out of Florida before I found out or witnessed that cockroaches can fly. I’m so impressed you made it through that whole ordeal without your whole car getting drenched in water/coffee/protein shake…I probably would have spilled all of it even if I didn’t have a cockroach staring me in the face!
Cockroaches are the absolute worst. They call them palmetto bugs here, I think just so it doesn’t sound so dirty. My worst experience was waking up in bed with one between my legs. I slept on the couch for about a week after that.
Oh my gosh, cockroaches fly?! I never ever want to experience that. I nearly shrieked just reading that. I am amazed you didn’t spill your coffee! I definitely would have.
haha… I can envision it all.
I’m one of those nuts that saves all bugs… yes, even cockroaches… so I would have just drove along talking to him not to jump on me … or in my coffee :)
I just died reading this.
When I moved to Texas and saw a cockroach for the first time I cried hysterically for about 45 minutes. I never got used to them and I’m so glad I didn’t know they fly until just now! As much as I despise the cold weather in Pennsylvania I’m so thankful there aren’t roaches in our new house!
LADY!!! That is petrifying!! I had something similar happen once with a giant moth – I was on a 2 hour drive on the highway and it started flying around my face!! I couldn’t stop so I literally rolled down all the windows for the ENTIRE drive hoping the wind would blow it out. PS it was winter and like 5 degrees. hahaha!
Oh man! This is terrible! One time I was driving along and noticed that there was a huge spider in my odometer area, and it was crawling towards my hands on the steering wheel. I freaked out, too, and think I tried to kill it with a piece of paper but it ran away. At least I didn’t have all my hands full like you, though! Glad you’re ok and thanks for the story:)
Omg, I would’ve FREAKED OUT. Cockroaches give me the total heebie jeebies!
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
and it won! bahahaha! Girl, that is some crazy shit! Gabriel, who lived in FL for 10 years, has told me about those crazy suckas and I never, ever want to face one. You are a brave soul, my friend.
OH SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!!!!! I swear this is a story I could tell. It’s my worst fear that a cockroach is going to be in my car. When I first moved home after college, I insisted on living on the third floor (finished attic). I needed my space. But no one had lived up there in about 15 years, so when I moved in and disturbed everything, I guess I pissed of an entire COLONY of cockroaches. Holy hell there were so many of them (my parents house is clean, I swear, it was just a part of the house with a lot of cardboard boxes and no one had been up there in ages). It took a few months to really truly get rid of them–so I swear to you every time I saw anything creep or crawl, or if something flickered in the wind in my car, I panicked!!
that is my nightmare!!! I HATE roaches. just seeing the word on the page makes me want to throw up. that story made my skin crawl!! i’m so so sorry that happened. let’s just hope he climbed out of the car when you were cleaning out the car!
Lmao, I’m dying reading this. Like the mental pictures I’m having of you throwing everything out of your car in the middle of a CVS parking lot screaming “where are you?!” hahaha. I’m sorry, in all seriousness, spotting a creature, especially a winged creature while you are driving is never good. I was driving home after getting my hair done for senior prom, it was May and beautiful out. My windows were down and I was singing at the top of my lungs. Wouldn’t you know a BEE FLEW STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH! Fortunately I choked, coughed, freaked, or what have you and he was launched out my window. To this day I think what if he would’ve stung me. What if my prom photos were me with a fat bee sting lip?
p.s. you should probably fumigate your car…..
My house in uni used to have a centipede issue, and I’m telling you those things are now my biggest fear. Over the 3 years I lived there I found two in my bed (one dead, one alive), one that had drowned itself in my water glass overnight (SO glad I didn’t get thirsty in the middle of the night), and one time my roommate put her hair up in a towel after the shower and one crawled down her face. I’m not even kidding, I want to throw up just reliving that memory. I literally tore my room apart one night and put all the furniture in the centre because one got away from me, and then had to sleep in another room because I was to terrified it would come back for me haha. It was the best house in every way except for those damn centipedes!
Those bastards are the WORST! I remember driving to class one morning in college and felt something tickle my foot. I didn’t think anything of it till I parked and there was a freaking roach by the brake pedal. I DIE thinking about that and it’s not nearly as bad as knowing what it was like you did! Eeekkk I feel for you!
Oh no! I can’t handle roaches. I’m sure you have them in FL but we call them Palmetto bugs here in SC and they are like cockroaches on steroids. I wouldn’t have been able to make it acros the bridge! But question…did you spill your coffee??
I’m glad you survived long enough to tell the tale- I would have DIED!! A few years ago I found a cockroach on my bedroom ceiling, proceeded to get a broom to try to squish it and it ended up falling on my bed and then back down behind it. I was home alone and almost had a heart attack!!!
OMG… my skin is literally crawling reading this! Those things are basically my worst nightmare and I feel horrific for you! I would drive that car straight to get detailed because better they find it than you!
I CAN RELATE. picture me, living in florida for a month. when out of nowhere i go to the kitchen to see one staring at me on the wall and then FLIES toward me and above my head. afterwards i had a meltdown where i called my mom, who told me to call my dad and then i harassed my huge neighbor i had never spoken to, to help me. yeah. welcome to florida. took me a few hours to deal with that. then proceeded to tell everyone i was moving. home. ha. we are kindred spirits now. i really hope he crawled out of your car!
cheshirekatblog.com
I would have to get a new car.
this made me all jumpy. cockroaches are everywhere at home – they are seriously clean, do no harm etc etc but i don’t give a shit i don’t like them! i have actually seen them fly and it’s freaking creepy ok. this one time i saw a spider in my car and i straight up jumped out of my moving car. it was a manual and stalled thankfully, but heck no. i wasn’t staying in there.
best thing about kentucky – no cockroaches. its funny, i didn’t even notice till you said it about florida, i had to think and be like have i ever seen a cockroach here? lol
They are the worst down here! I woke up one morning/middle of the night/dead sleep to one on my hand that was hanging off the side of my bed. I had a lizard in my car, which isn’t nearly as bad but that was never seen again. I think you handled it pretty well not spilling anything.
Stop it!! That is AWFUL! I would have flung the drinks (coffee, protein) EVERYWHERE trying to beat the cockroach off the visor and out the window. Or just pulled over, jumped out of my car and never come back. You never know.
Seriously though. Cockroaches are DISGUSTING! It is so dang hot in southern Utah, where I grew up, that cockroaches just thriiiiiiive there. But since living in colder climates the last 5 years, I haven’t had to deal with any. I’m kind of dying over the idea of dealing with them again when we move to AZ. I’m afraid they are going to be the big, nasty ones, too. AH!
Omg poor you! I hate cockroaches. I had one hiding inside the leg of my jeans once…I put on my jeans to head out and felt the crawling up my leg…those jeans went flying off in .5 seconds much to Dad’s dismay who witnessed it…moral of the story is cockroaches are assholes!
oh girl i know the pain! one time i had left my old car in a garage for a few days as i was traveling on business… i came back, got in my car in the parking lot (so it was dark), started driving down the road, looked down and there were HUNDREDS of black ants crawling all over my console, my jeans, my seat, my radio….. i FREAKED out. i know the feeling…
You are hilarious! I would have died! I have never seen a cockroach before but I think I would have died for sure. I don’t do squirming bugs! I hope you find that SOB! I totally thought you were going to say you spilt hot coffee all over you or that your protein shake went all over your car :) At least you didn’t drive off the side of the bridge though! ;)
UGH!!! That is the worst. I had it happen recently w/ a spider and could not figure out where the heck it went after I flicked it away. Stupid bugs that drive us nuts!
I would have had to pull over even though I know you couldn’t. In which case I would have cried and had a panic attack. Glad you survived!!!
I genuinely just got the heebie-jeebies for you.
I thought I was used to (used to – not tolerate by any means) cockroaches from living in Florida…… then I moved to Australia. Cockroaches on a new level here. We have 18 poison traps around the house, and I still find new cockroaches every night! It’s the creepiest most disgusting thing ever!
When I go into the kitchen I flick the light on and wait a few seconds before looking around so anything crawling around in there can run out before i see it.
I just grossed myself out writing that.
I can’t imagine how you handled it! This gave me chills just reading about it and now I am afraid to get into my own car. I hate cockroaches!
Okay. I know it isn’t very funny for you, but me picturing this in my head was freaking hysterical! Thank you for the laugh!! I had to stop reading at certain parts because I was laughing so hard. I hope you find him soon!
Ahh just reading this makes my skin crawl! I’ve had a spider come down for a web from my windshield while I’ve been driving before and it’s awful! Hopefully it made it out of your car somehow!
Ughhh.
I can handle mice, rats, snakes and spiders fine but june bugs and cockroaches and the like turn me into a stereotypical-screaming-girl-standing-on-furniture. Nooo thank you.
Ahhhhhhghhghhgghgh!!! I am freaking out just reading that! I don’t miss that about living in the south – big ass cockroaches. Gives me the creeps.
OMG that would have freaked me out and I would have been waiting for it to come back! Impressed you didn’t spill any of those drinks!
Behind on my blog reading much? I remember you texting me about this incident after it happened! I still cant tell you that I would have done anything different. When you see one of those nasty things…all rational thoughts escape you mind, ya know?
Bleeeeeeeech… this makes me DRY HEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (But I would’ve liked to have seen your reaction in person, hahah!)
At least you didn’t stop the car and jump out as soon as you saw it.. Ha ha! Oh man, yuck! I don’t think I have ever seen a cockroach before…